How you see the world greatly impacts your experience of it. When you make a decision about life and people you have already arrived at a conclusion, and will look for evidence to support this decision.
For example, someone who thinks the world is full of people out for their own best interest will tend to be suspicious and guarded in relationships with others waiting to be taken advantage of. And when that happens (which is inevitable), all of the times that people were NOT after their own interest will be ignored in favour of the one person who lived up to their expectation.
Then you add the universal law of attraction to the ability to manifest feelings into reality and all of a sudden that feeling of being a victim vibrates out to the world. Inevitably you begin to attract more of the type of person who will live up to the expectation of taking advantage of you.
And so they cycle repeats as more and more people validate the initial perspective.
The same goes if you think “life always throws you lemons”; abracadabra the Universe will deliver. Or “life is hard work and no fun”; Boom! you’re working for peanuts.
No doubt about it life is going to throw you challenges, as I’ve said before, that is why we are here. But we can chose to have one experience, learn, grow and move on, or let that one experience form the basis for our sweeping beliefs of the world and people then have that become our new reality.
So here’s a great exercise I’ve done for as long as I can remember (back in high school I think I started doing this).
I would imagine my funeral (yes rather morbid) but in my mind it was a celebratory occasion. And from that perspective I would ask myself “how would I have wanted to have lived”, “how do I want people to remember me”, “what are they saying about the life I’ve lived”, “what quality of people are standing there”, “what are the things I would have wanted to have done”…
From that perspective I would base all of my decisions. Ok back then in highschool it was that I would have wanted me to go travelling rather than spend time in college because the old (or dead) me said that there was plenty of time to knuckle down and be settled, that while I was young I would have wanted me to run wild and free learning from the school of life.
And so I did.
What life decisions would you make now with that perspective?
Your older (or dead) you, may have a completely different outlook to mine but that’s what makes each of us unique. You follow your heart and you are guaranteed a happy life.
Now with that perspective (how you’ve decided you want your life to look like), and using the same exercise, talk to the younger you (in your head of course…or out loud if the older you told you not to give a F what other people thought anymore!!).
What would you want to say to the younger you, the one who set you up with all these ideas and perspectives about the world. Could you shed some light and wisdom so that he/she feels peace? Because no doubt about it, these perspectives were created for you out of protection. A false sense of security. A false sense that if you could predict the world and its responses then you could protect yourself.
Not realising that by doing so you’d actually be creating the world you’re afraid of.
Be gentle with younger you. Speaking kindly and lovingly like you would a beautiful baby soul. Convince this pure innocent part of you that it is safe and ok to change perspectives. It is ok to believe in people. But it’s healthy to include some assertiveness decisions such as agreeing to trust your gut / intuition on people, and to walk away when something doesn’t feel right, or someone doesn’t leave you feeling good about yourself.
When you make these two commitments to yourself; 1. To put your higher happiness first in your life and 2. To trust what feels good and bad, right and wrong in the world, you start to change your beliefs.
When your beliefs are filled with good vibes, you send those out to the universe and all of a sudden the world is reflecting a happier place sending you people who love and respect you the way you love and respect yourself.
Know that these changes can take time so always be gentle with yourself.
I’m always here to lean on if you need me 🙂